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TITLE/ROLE |
JOB DESCRIPTION
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CEO |
- A position of reasonably high profile.
- Must be prepared for travel at short notice.
- Essential previous qualifications for high profit (employee
satisfaction preferred, but not essential)
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MD Finance |
- Proven record in cash manipulations essential.
- Previous background in Financial areas preferred.
- Must enjoy entertaining CEO
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MD Personnel |
- Previous abilities to keep employee wages at a minimum essential
- Ability to increase CEO salary without anyone knowing preferred
(probably not essential if entire family have all recently been
diagnosed with a fatal illness)
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CEO Personal Secretary |
- Essential requirements of long blond flowing hair, stunning
looks, superb figure, able to work long (possible overnight)
hours at short notice, willing to take on any task requested
by CEO
- Typing speed of 10 wpm minimum preferred (not essential)
- Salary negotiable
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Safety Officer |
- Able to obey company orders without question
- Ability to prevent accidents (even if it kills you)
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Medical Officer |
- Essential to be on duty early mornings and late afternoons
to provide "medication" by injection to several high
level managers
- Prefer someone who is able to arrive at work sober, and remain
so till at least of morning tea
- Ability to read own handwriting is not a requirement for
this position
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Welders, Boilermakers
(Several Positions) |
- Migrant workers welcome
- Knowlege of Trade Practices Act not required
- Knowlege of Safe Working Conditions not required (on the
job training supplied by "Lefty" McGirk [can't tell
his left from his right hand, cause he hasn't got one)
- Knowlege of Minimum Wages and Conditions not requried
- Knowlege of Unfair Dismissal not required
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Cleaners
(Several Positions) |
- Comfortable with having to clean areas from offices to washrooms
- May be required on some "field work" cleaning tasks
(possible areas of minor radiation and asbestos reported, but
unconfirmed)
- Company clothing supplied (Tee shirts and thongs with logo)
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